Would That
I spent some time tonight
thinking about my earlier selves,
standing at each of my diverging roads,
in all the yellow woods over all the years
and pondering if I would have done anything
differently knowing what it has cost me to know
what I know now. Would it have been better
to have taken the other road at each turn
the safer road, no matter where it led?
I’m not prone to be overly reflective
about choices made and about the roads
traveled (or not) because we are the sum
of each and all of our decisions
compounding and consequated.
I have no choice but to be me.
I cannot be anyone else.
But when you strip away
lying to yourself
when you strip away
“would haves”
“could haves”
“should haves”
what do you have left?
I find myself stepping out of
a profoundly disordered life
into an ordered one; one where
everything
makes sense. Where loving
and being loved
is simple.
