What hypocrisy? That some of us can see her point? And it's not what anyone thinks of her cheating that is toxic, per se, it's the toxic judgmental shaming reactions that are toxic. In other words, it's how you express it.

Society doesn't always get correct what is, in fact, "good behavior." There are a large number of people trapped in bad marriages because of societal expectations and because it's not always simple for them to "just get divorced." Even amicable divorces can be wrenching and expensive. Non-amicable ones are brutal for everyone involved.

At the end of the day, people have the right to try be happy. Those of us who are parents have the obligation to do our best to raise our children, but that's very hard to do when you're miserable all the time. If having an affair helped her orient herself in terms of her parenting and helped her gain the perspective necessary to end her bad marriage, then I for one am not going to try to censure her for that; even if I would (and did) make different choices when navigating the end of my very, very bad marriage. All of us just reading about her marriage don't remotely have enough information to judge her choices.

You do you, but she doesn't owe any of us any apologies for her choices.