Is that worse than rationalizing staying in a soul-crushingly bad marriage? Mileage will obviously vary for individuals--different relationships have different dynamics--and different people will come to different conclusions for what is the best for them and their families, but again the meta-point is we have a right to try to be happy. We don't owe anyone our misery, even our children.

And like I said, even though I can't directly attest to cheating, I have experienced the profound difference between a bad relationship and a healthy one. Moving from the former to the latter has with no hyperbole saved my life and created infinitely better outcomes for my children.

Yes, leaving the known for the unknown carries significant risk and there is no guarantee you will find happiness. But I'm not going to fault people for making the attempt. If affairs serve as springboards for getting out of bad relationships, then they serve the greater good. If affairs help you appreciate better what you already have and motivates you to commit to it, that's also fine. Life is complex. Again, I wish you the best in your journey, wherever it leads you.